Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize