porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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