there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
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