Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
