i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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