He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
