so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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