Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
