This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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