youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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