I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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