He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
