Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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