i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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