Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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