I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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