I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Enjoy the penises
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
