chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
