when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Swine flu is the new snow day.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
