do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
