is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
