Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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