is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
