so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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