The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
try to milk me bitch
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