I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
