it wasn't lemon gatorade
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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