White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
