I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize