I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
