**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
false alarm. still invincible.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
