Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He shit in the fireplace
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
