Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
