And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
