dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I deserve this hangover.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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