do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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