i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
