Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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