I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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