Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize