i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
