glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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