it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
