i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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