woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
