lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
