you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
