Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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