apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
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