let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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