You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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