I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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