I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
