I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize