did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
