i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
