I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
