I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
