I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
