If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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