and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
