I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
