You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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