Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
