Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize