he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize