So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
