Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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