It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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